El Creador nos libre de...

Escribir un artículo tan infantil, ambiguo e incoherente como el que han publicado los señores de IGN sobre las opiniones de algunos editores respecto de Mortal Kombat.

Se los transcribo aunque no traduzco dado que el tiempo en un medio día de sábado escasea aquí en la oficina.

When I first saw Mortal Kombat, I thought:

• A) Now is the time! The legacy is born again!
• B) This could be promising. I'll see how it plays.
• C) I'll pass. I'd take Street Fighter any day.
• D) This is straight-up garbage.

Executive Editor Mark Ryan Sallee: B

Not gonna lie, I've never been into Mortal Kombat. It always seemed like a juvenile knockoff of Street Fighter, even when I was a juvenile. But I've got some good friends that would swear by the first few Mortal Kombat games, so I was definitely open to a new game that harkens back to the originals. Skeptical, but open.

Executive Editor Greg Miller: B

I have fond memories of Mortal Kombat parties in Mike Boylan's basement, so seeing a game that was a return to what was awesome definitely intrigued me.

Executive Editor Scott Lowe: A

I was so pumped about Mortal Kombat prior to launch. I'm not much of a fighting game enthusiast, so I'm usually only in it for the mutilation and carnage, which the new Mortal Kombat has in spades.

Editor Brian Altano: D

Really? Another Mortal Kombat game? Haven't we spent enough time revisiting that stupid franchise? Nothing echoes the sentiments of a creatively bankrupt medium like a modernized recreation of a (mostly dumb) fighting game I played in arcades nearly two decades ago. You know, the one with poorly digitized actors and a cast of characters comprised mostly of nonsensical fighting game stereotypes and palette swapped ninjas in karate pants.

Surely those design decisions will be forsaken by a newer generation trained to enjoy the more refined offerings of today, right? Right!? Well, wrong, as it turns out...

Associate Editor Jack DeVries: D

I'll be honest, I've been burned so much by Mortal Kombat over the last decade, that my initial reaction to the game was negative. I remember seeing the banners hanging at E3 and saying to someone "F**k that, I'm not doing it again."

Nótese que con toda la mala intención del mundo el grupo de opinión está compuesto por estereotipos clásicos como el que no juega juegos de peleas (porque supuestamente es imparcial), el fan acérrimo de la franquicia competidora del juego analizado y los típicos bocas flojas que hacen ruido a lo tonto porque les gusta ser el centro de atención. Como resultado, algunos editores le tiran popó al juego por sus errores del pasado e incluso se menciona que es como un knock off de Street Fighter mencionándolo precisamente el editor que califica como fanático acérrimo de Street Fighter.

Having played Mortal Kombat:

• A) I can't wait to play more.
• B) I'll throw it in, maybe when friends are around.
• C) I won't be coming back anytime soon.
• D) I still can't wash the blood off my hands...

Executive Editor Mark Ryan Sallee: C

I think it's pretty bad. I won't ever choose to play it, but if someone else wants to play I'll humor the guy and probably bitch incessantly.

Executive Editor Greg Miller: C

I'm not a fighting game fan, and while it was fun to see some blood and guts, I've had my fill.

Executive Editor Scott Lowe: B

Although I enjoy the single-player modes, Mortal Kombat is definitely best enjoyed in the company of friends. Given the slew of great single-player titles hitting stores, Mortal Kombat is certain to fall further down my priority list, but I'll definitely fire it up to perform fatalities on visitors.

Editor Brian Altano: A

So maybe I was a bit harsh on Mortal Kombat's return. Just a little. This latest Mortal Kombat actually reinvigorates all of my '90's fighting game nostalgia that the last few entries in the series managed to destroy completely. It's so addicting and consistently shock-violent that watching spines crack, limbs sever and brains explode never ceases to be enjoyable.

Maybe I was wrong and archaic game designs from 20 years ago can still be fun today. Just don't get any ideas to bring back Pit Fighter.

Associate Editor Jack DeVries: A

The game brings back so many fond memories of MK 1-3. I'm having a blast with it and find myself popping it in every day to beat the arcade ladder with a new character, or play a few rounds of multiplayer. Plus when friends come over they always want to see Fatalities.

¿Se dan cuenta cómo los mismos que se deleitaron embarrando heces al juego ahora le dan la vuelta a sus opiniones y aquellos que inicialmente le dieron un poco de confianza ahora opinan diferente? "...los juegos de pelea se disfrutan más cuando se juegan con amigos..." ¿Ese comentario fue en serio Scott Lowe o de plano has vivido debajo de una piedra por los últimos 20 años?

Mortal Kombat is a legitimate, competitive fighter.

• A) True.
• B) False.
• C) Difficult to say at this point in time.
• D)That's not important to me. Moar decapitations!

Executive Editor Mark Ryan Sallee: C

I don't have to like a game to recognize that it can be played competitively. The competitive fighting game community is giving Mortal Kombat a shot, and they'll give a better answer than I could. My guess is that Mortal Kombat will be at big tournaments in 2011, but probably not in 2012.

Executive Editor Greg Miller: D

I don't know what "competitive fighters" are looking for. I loved the brutality of this one and am happy the franchise is back to its roots.

Executive Editor Scott Lowe D

I lack the necessary reflexes, coordination, and skill to compete in fighting games, so Mortal Kombat's standing as a legitimate fighter is not really a big concern for me. I just want the sweet, sweet violence.

Editor Brian Altano: D

Who gives a s**t? Packing a GameStop full of "experts" who have mastered their own custom built fight sticks, wear magical headbands, and relentlessly murder anyone unwilling to dedicate their lives to the game isn't something that will ever interest me.

Sure my MK roots revolve around crowded teens screaming and yelling in a circle at a cabinet in a smoky arcade, but I'd rather hang on the couch and rip my friend's spine out. At least that way I don't look like a noob when my girlfriend kicks my ass as Sonya.

Associate Editor Jack DeVries: A

It's not on the same league as the Capcom fighters, or maybe even Tekken, but when you watch people who are really good at the game play each other, you can see that this is a legit fighting game.

Pónganse de acuerdo señores editores, ¿ustedes se quedaron atascados en sus remembranzas de los 90's o pudieron superar sus traumas y regresar al contexto de que se refieren a un juego que se acaba de publicar apenas hará un par de semanas?

My favorite thing about it is:

• A) The new X-ray moves.
• B) The return of Fatalities.
• C) The raw fighting.
• D) Turning it off.

Executive Editor Mark Ryan Sallee: D

I hate to sound hateful, but Mortal Kombat has nothing for me. It's a fighting game for people that don't like fighting games. And I like fighting games.

Executive Editor Greg Miller: A

Fatalities are rad, but you have to wait for them and lots of time players screw'em up. X-ray moves are simple and satisfying.

Executive Editor Scott Lowe: A

Again, I'm not very skilled at fighting games, so nailing perfect power moves and fatalities can be tough, but the new X-Ray moves makes it easy to execute gruesome moves on opponents.

Editor Brian Altano: C

What more could you ask for? The X-ray moves are cool and all (and look fantastic) but when people sit down to play a fighting game, it needs to have intelligent, responsive controls and a competently balanced roster that psychotic nerds will learn to exploit long past my days spent playing it. Until then, Mortal Kombat is a hilariously violent fighter that I'll be breaking out whenever I feel the need to prove to my friends that they are lesser than me.

Associate Editor Jack DeVries: B

The biggest disappointment in both MK: Armageddon and MK vs DC was the lack of or the toning down of fatalities. I thought I was completely desensitized, but NetherRealm managed to gross me out, which is kind of the point, right?

Ese Mark Ryan Sallee debe ser escribir haiku, el problema es que redacte sus opiniones así, no a todos nos gusta que a él le guste el haiku.

I think NetherRealm Studios:

• A) Went in the right direction.
• B) Has a little more work to do.
• C) Needs a totally different approach.
• D) Should stop making Mortal Kombat games.

Executive Editor Mark Ryan Sallee: A

Yeah, really. I don't think they could ever make a fighting game for me, so NetherRealm went the right direction and didn't bother. They went back to old-school, two-dimensional gameplay, upped the ridiculous factor of Fatalities and included plenty of time-consuming single-player stuff. I think it plays better than the last few three-dimensional games. Is that a compliment?

Executive Editor Greg Miller: A

Great job going back to what defined Mortal Kombat while layering on stuff to make it a more complete fighting game

Executive Editor Scott Lowe: A

Though certainly not without its flaws, Mortal Kombat is a pretty solid reboot of an entertaining fighting game franchise I've loved for years. NetherRealm has some work to do in terms of ironing out some of the control issues, but they've got a great foundation for future iterations in the series.

Editor Brian Altano: A

Well, they went in the only direction, really. They finally made the next-gen, fully realized Mortal Kombat game that most of us didn't think we'd ever need but couldn't be more happy with now that we have. Now hopefully it doesn't take another two decades to get it right again.

Associate Editor Jack DeVries: A

Honestly it's hard to imagine it being significantly better. What more do you need out of an MK game?

Me quejé amargamente de que los artículos presentados en Reloaded carecieron de estructura, especialmente de que no concluyeran o cerraran el tema sobre el que trataban, ahora veo que no son los únicos y que hay quienes pueden hacerlo peor. Vaya, un pequeño párrafo con el que si quiera avisen que ahí murió todo el borlote no estaría de más.

Usualmente respeto mucho el trabajo de los señores de IGN porque igual hay editores que se apegan mucho a su propia opinión y suelen alcanzar un nivel aceptable de objetividad, pero luego de ver esta triste excusa de panel de opinión realmente provocan que quienes lo leimos apliquemos un riguroso facepalm.

Vivimos en una crisis de contenido muy canija, la PSN se fue a la alberca (quizá por eso del calor) y vivimos con la zozobra de que Battlefield 3 para consolas no se vea tan cool como lo hará para PC... El mundo se acaba en 2012. jajaja.